Social norm #1: The "This person"
Let's imagine for a moment that you're scrolling through Instagram, reading captions, watching videos, whatever. Then you come to a picture of one of your friends with another person, and they say this:
"Guess who I got to spend the whole day with? That's right. This awesome girl! I love you so much @whoeveristagged!"
It's everywhere! Literally. Everywhere.
I have a particular pet peeve about this one. I mean, come on people! I have a name! I'm not just "this girl"
I just... *pinches the bridge of my nose* Why? Just why? We already know what you're going to say, so there are no points for originality. We already know who you're talking about, because you posted a picture with them. And they already know who you're talking about, because they were there.
It just doesn't make sense to me. It just doesn't. Maybe that's why I don't make these social norm rules.
Social norm #2: The "OMG girl, you're gorg. Like, I'm so jealous."
I swear every time someone posts a selfie on Instagram, the entirety of the comments are all
"Cutie!", "Adorableeeeeee", "I love your face", "omg cutest", "<3 hottie", "baaaaabbbbeee", "Why are you so hot????"
*Covertly throws up in my mouth*
I swear, it's almost rude if you don't comment on everyone's photos and boost their self esteem by calling them gorgeous, and hot, and babe, and all of the other compliments that you give to literally everyone else that you're following on Instagram.
(If you can tell, this is another pet peeve of mine)
Social norm #3: The "Cryptic picture with an even more cryptic saying."
e.g.
---> beggingforattention
beggingforattention Even though I smile... I still miss you. *insert three thousand sad face emojiis*
You know... I don't think you actually want to know what I think of this one, as it could be viewed as extremely offensive. :D So! Moving on.
Social norm #4: Using as little words as possible to convey a message
This one... This one I can understand. (I admit begrudgingly). In fact, I'm rather thankful for it. It makes things easy to read, is rather convenient for the person writing it, and doesn't bore everyone with long descriptions. So hey! Yay for this one.
But when it's paired with number five... *shudder*
Social norm #5: The abuse of the hashtag
Due to the... Expectation that everything that is posted on instagram is expected to have very few words, we get number 5. For some reason, it is instagramsocailly unacceptable to have super long posts, but it's totally fine to have a million hashtags that repeat exactly what you just said....?
For example:
Went camping with this girl last night! So fun! #stayeduplate #sotired #besties #weresocool #coollerthanyou #hashtag #hashtagsarelame #weirdos #hey
Sorry to break it to you, but that gets real old, real fast. So, please, for the love of all that's sane, don't let number four prompt you to do number five.
Social norm #6: Emojiis
Oh, the emojiis. There is so much that I could say about emojiis... To begin with, they usually accompany number 2, the "OMG girl you're adorbs". Basically, instead of saying anything, there will just be a comment with about five kissy faces, and maybe three heart eyed emojiis.
*facepalms* What is this world coming to?!? Where have the sincere compliments gone?! Where are all of the real facial expressions? Who even has hearts instead of EYES?!?
*Takes deep, calming breath* I think it's wise to move on from emojiis now.
Social norm #7: Posting about vacations
This one is the one that actually makes the most sense to me, so there's no need to talk a whole lot about it. It's great. It's the "posting about every day life" that I cringe at.
Social norm # 8: Posting about birthdays
For the love of everything... Can't you just... Can't you just tell them in person? Or... I dunno, message them and only them? Let me just... There are a few things you should know.
#1: Nobody cares. Nobody. Oh yay! It's some random person that I don't know's birthday! I'm so glad that I have this completely useless information!!! I don't know what I would've done if so-and-so didn't post about it! My life would've been so much worse! But they did post!!! HAPPINESS!!!
Yeah, no. That doesn't happen. Ever. Sorry.
#2: That's what everyone else is doing. Literally everyone. Dare to be different! Dare to tell the person in person that you think they're great and that it's fantastic that it's their birthday. I'm pretty sure that'll mean a lot more to them than a:
"It's this person's birthday today! Oh I'm so glad I know you! We've been through a lot together, and I just want you to know you're the best person in the world because reasons. Have an amazing day!"
Or maybe that's just me, and I'm odd. Which is very possible.
And thus concludes my rant about Instagram. On second thought... Maybe I should've called this post: Making Fun Of Instagram and the Strange People That Use It... Oh well!
Either way, Instagram does provide a fun way of posting pictures where other people will see them, and it's not all that bad. Speaking of which, hey, if you feel the need, follow me. @beggingforattention *winky face* *kissy face* *heart eyed face* #(something ridiculous #(something even more ridiculous) #frenchfries.
